Junipero ever tell you about go law school?

Si, Junipero no dummy, especially when he realize that attorney "Bar Cards" are the equivalent of licenses to steal, he figure he should have one, too.

Unfortunamente, one of first things must do before enter law school is send letter to school 'splaining why you wants go there.

Junipero recently dig up letter he send law school back 1998 and think should post here for mi amigos to enjoy:

[Should you notice Juni speak in different tongue is because Juni no have Green Card at time and think is better speak in national language of law school . . .]


Dear School o’ Law:

Here’s my writing and I hope it’s good enough . . .

“WHY I WANTS TO GO TO LAW SCHOOL” BY LITTLE JUNI-PERO

I wants to go to Law School cause I been workin’ at this here lawyer-fella’s office for a bit of a spell now and one of the things I noticed was that the only people who do any work around here are me and the secketary. We does the typin’ and the filin’ and the trash-emptyin’ and the . . . oh, you know what I means, the two of us we does just about everythin’. But, when it comes time to pay the piper, who do ya think gets all the money? Why that shyster lawyer, that’s who! And whaddya think he does with the money he gets? I’ll tell ya, he spends it on booze so he can spend all his time until next payday being all liquored up, that’s what!

Well, I’ll tell ya, that seems like a damn good way to go as far as I can see; and I wanna follow in his foot-steps and spend all my born days being liquored up jes like him and maybe even do a bit of whorin’ around, too; and the only way I can do all that is by being a attorney. And, since I gotta go to Law School to become a attorney, that’s why I wants to go.

Also, I don’t wanna go to medical school cause all those doctor’s get to do is see blood and guts and pus, and then they see more guts and stuff; and they gotta stay up all hours o’ the night jes waiting for people to call ‘em so they can go out and see more blood and guts and . . .

Hell, they’s enjoy it so much they even start workin’ on themselves and after awhile they replace parts o’ their own bodies and get new knees and stuff and I think they’s all hell-bent on turnin’ themselves into the Terminator or the 6 Million Dollar Man or something . . . hells-bells, those damn doctor’s is crazy!

Nosiree, Bob, not me, I wants to be a lawyer. Given a choice between Money and Liquor or Blood and Guts, I’ll take the former.

Luv,
Juni